Hey everyone, I’m terribly sorry for the long delay since my last post. I’m sure you’re all curious about the status of Part II of Clara Ravens Episode 4: Colombina’s Illusion, but let me just drop a quick note about my current health so you understand why there’s been such a delay.
I’ve been off of work for nearly a month, and that has been a hard thing to deal with. That time was spent at doctor appointments and therapy/counseling and just generally fighting through my anxiety. I’ve managed to bounce back from the depression, but I still have a near unmanageable amount of anxiety and it’s incredibly, horribly distracting. It’s been a rough beginning of the year so far, and I still have more doctor appointments this week including an MRI for my liver and a full cardiological workup by a specialist to try and narrow down why I am having chronic chest pain. It’s hard to sit down and work when you’re so distracted and full of worry that you can’t focus, but despite this I have spent the last week rewriting a good portion of the end of Clara Ravens Episode 4: Colombina’s Illusion. I wanted to add more flavor to it, since it kind of gets a little stale at the end in my opinion (the dialogue, not the action). I’m still not 100% satisfied with it, but ideas and inspiration come to me frequently, so I might just be at the grocery store, holding a can of peas, and suddenly go, “Oh, it would be awesome if so-and-so says THIS!” and quickly jot a note down on my phone. So I am confident you’ll enjoy the conclusion, both the action and the dialogue.
As I sit down in front of my PC after quite a long absence, I find myself not interested in informing you all of project statuses or 2016 plans for Epoch Art, but rather to discuss family, life, and love… (stop reading now and check back early next year if sentimental/emotional rants aren’t your thing – this is going to get real depressing really quickly). But before I get going here, let me just express that this isn’t a cry for help. I’m not suicidal and I never will be. So don’t freak out and misconstrue my message when you get to the end. Okay, last chance to stop reading…
Still here? Okay then.
The last few months, and especially the last few weeks, have been some of the most emotional of my life. They say the holidays are always stressful, yet somehow this year was the first time I ever felt that sentiment to be true. It was an incredible rush to have my beautiful girlfriend move in with me weeks before the holiday and us celebrate our first Christmas together. It was full of cheer: Christmas cards adorning the walls, poinsettias, Christmas cookies, tons of Christmas movies, even tons more presents, a gorgeous tree, and lots of love. But it was also twinged with heartache as I was in the hospital and subsequently the E.R. and, for an incredibly intense four days, I was worried I was going to die.
Before I say anything else, I just want to say how incredibly happy I am to have such an adoring fanbase full of thoughtful, considerate, articulate, and interesting people. I love reading all of your posts, and while I just simply can’t respond to all of them, just know that I really, truly appreciate each and every one of you taking the time to pop in every day just to say ‘hello’ or ‘hope you’re doing well’ or ‘WHERE’S MY FUCKING PORN?!’
For real, I know a lot of my artist contemporaries out there can’t boast the same incredible fanbase and I don’t really know what I did to draw the winning lottery ticket that got me the ABSOLUTE FUCKING BEST FANS I imagine anyone could have, but I am grateful and know that I don’t take it for granted. I don’t take